Monday, December 12, 2011
Normal Heroes is nearly ready for publication. There are still a few sentences here or there that need a bit of scrub and buff, but I am rather pleased with the work as a whole.
My attempt to enlist a talented comic artist to do the cover was a failure, sadly. However, I used my own, rather erratic and bizarre, visual arts talent to slap together a passably eye-catching and hopefully less than hideous cover. It is loosely based on the cover for Superman #1 and I think it conveys the lowbrow pulp spirit of the entire project.
Not the riot of cartoon boobs I had hoped for, but perhaps it will do.
Look for the impending release of Normal Heroes sometime around the New Year (or, if you use a different calendar for the measurement of the year, seven days past the next new moon.)
Thanks much to all of my followers who refused to let my internet silence be an excuse to stop following, subscribing, or whatever social media catch-tag means they read my posts. Your loyalty is undeserved, your personal appearance is frankly fantastic, and, I am sure, the gods themselves are in total awe of you.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
That will probably change here and there in editing and rewriting, but I will call it final because, well, I have a strong sense of closure with penning the final chapter. It feels really good. I deserve cake. Or possibly pie. Yes, pie. Thank you all for supporting me, reading my blogs and my twitters. Thanks everyone on LitReactor for their words of encouragement and supportive attitudes. You guys rock. Yes rock can be a verb, if I want it to. I am a writer, dammit! Okay, I am done freaking out for now. Look for a lot of posts that say "I did some more editing and the book still isn't out yet." I will try to throw in some wit, sarcasm, self loathing, satire, inoffensive social commentary, and the occasional movie review to keep it from getting too repetitive. I might go nuts without new chapters to write and try my hand at a short story or two. Stay pointed at my feed with preferred configuration of electronic information device for further updates and silliness.
A. Mason Carpenter,
a writer, dammit!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
The word count is up around 154k.
I know you are thinking something along the lines of "Why is this jackass rambling on and on about some book that isn't even available yet and very few people will actually read. I mean the fool isn't even going to TRY to get it published. The moron is just going to upload it to the internet and hope some influential basement bloggers will tell their other basement bound readers to read the novel. All this based on the merit that Mr. A. Total Jackass Carpenter thinks the book is worth reading. What are you a hippie? A caveman? A dirty commie? I could be looking at porn right now! Stop wasting my time!"
All I can say is, you've got some good points. This is all a sort of experiment. Please bear with me and I will try not to waste too much of your precious titty staring time.
Friday, October 7, 2011
I like my writing more than I like my drawing, but it is fun to doodle occasionally.
So the novel is creeping ever closer to being fully drafted. I've done some preliminary editing on the entire text as well, just aiming at the most simple grammatical, spelling and formatting errors. When I finish the draft I will go back over the whole thing, line by line, and punch it up a bit. Then it is time to publish. I spent some time today researching all the hoops I need to jump through in order to sell on Amazon and B & N. I will probably also sell on Smashwords. I would rather eliminate all of the corporate fat cats with their monocles and top hats, but they have an ability to distribute that I could never compete with as an indie. I should not bitch, though. At least there is a viable alternative for indie writers now. I hope my book makes the ebook mafia lots and lots of bread, that way I have some crumbs to eat.
The word count is finally over 150k! I keep trying to imagine what it would look like in the used paperback pile, even though it will never be in one. I fondly fantasize that it will be a thick enough book to stop a small caliber bullet. I bet my ereader wouldn't.
I hope you are all enjoying my silly blog here, and looking forward to the release of Normal Heroes (now with an author that knows the difference between "it's" and "its!").
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I don't want to spoiler the story so this is a short report. Be sure to drop me a mail if you want to get a free advance copy of my ebook. All I ask is that you do not redistribute it and that you write a rave review, possibly comparing me to a minor deity. Put "Advance Copy" in the subject field and send me a mail at amcarpwriter -at- gmail -dot- com. I will electronicly transmit an electronic copy to your electronic mail box as soon as it is ready. I have about fifteen chapters left to draft and some minor tweaking here and there. I could have a reviewer copy ready in a few weeks, depending of course upon a thousand variables, such as the price of coffee and how much gunk collects under my space bar.
Want the stats? Yay!
new grand total word count - 140,747
I did an experiment with setting it up in manuscript submission form. It came to 793 pages. That's 12 point courier new, double spaced, one inch margins. Lots of wasted e-paper. Good thing I am an indie, postage alone would kill my grocery budget, let alone the cost of paper and ink. Sorry, all you publishing agents, printers, distributors, brick and mortar bookstores, marketing experts, and legal professionals. You get no money from my talent (or lack thereof), just me and few evil e-commerce megaliths of doom. All hail the megaliths of doom!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
new grand total word count - 133,551
Granted, I had to make up a few. Have a preview:
niid - the National Identification Information and Designation card. If you don't have one, you are well and truly humped.
FITDs - Spam attached to business correspondence, short for "foot in the doors." A way for modern businesses to profit from the captive demographic of employees.
igg or igby - short for "in game girlfriend/boyfriend." A common relationship model in the year 2040.
USDFDATFP - the United States Department of Food, Drugs, Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Pornography, government downsizing makes for strange bedfellows.
Learn these useful words and more, when you read my forthcoming guide on how to live in an all too familiar near future America, Normal Heroes.